Trapped

Here I lay, drowning
Hopeless, helpless
In the dusky emptiness
Clouded by judgement and
raw, meaningless expectations.

These coarse walls
Brush my arm, scratch them,
but that is all.
I’m still stuck
Within the hurtful walls
Of those obliterating thoughts.

I kept reaching out.
Keep reaching out.
A Futile attempt
At a vague escape
From a faceless self
To becoming my own

Alas! One day,
Wish I could say a fine day
But one day, I did it!
Broke out of it.
Those emotions, thoughts, look up
Hopeful, asking me to stay
Nonetheless this freedom,
Draws me, to the world.

Disney taught me,
Dont be too hasty!
But this lovely world
Sniffs haste, into itself
With no compunction
That it’s far away
From happily ever after.

In its bustle, I drown
This time, not
in other’s thoughts
And expectations, but my own.

In search of my face
I left the walls
Now here I stand, lost
In disbelief but with undying faith

This isn’t pretty, not one bit
Before, i was drowning
Now, I’m suppressed
Without a face or even a voice.

And that piercing cold
What is it?
Is it those scornful eyes,
Their blinding sight?
They see you as they want,
And never as their own.

Should I go back?
Into those cruel walls
filled with despondence
And glare?
Or
Stay here?
In this hastily hostile world
With no place
Of my own?